Today's Observations, Events, and Worries.

      Camping World is an interesting store but the employees get upset when you pitch a tent in the store, and try to get people to bring you food from other departments. Then try out all the different camping supplies. No matter what excuses you make about trying to find the exact right camping supplies.

      I am getting a cat neutered today but men always react funny when I tell them about it. Every one grabs their nuts as if to check that their nuts are still there and makes a distressed face. Hopefully the cat doesn't shred the staff too badly while he is there. I also hope that the cat forgives me for leaving him with strangers for the day. He does seems to be a bit temperamental but should get better with time.
  
      I found enough mallow to be able to treat toenail fungus for quite some time. That isn't really one of the traditional uses for the herb but if you infuse the mallow into alcohol and soak your feet in the mess the fungus goes away. Also drinking about a tablespoon full of the mess every day for a week or two seems to dissolve cysts. I am always fascinated to learn more about what different herbs can do.

Obesity and Aliens

     The obesity epidemic is just a cover for mass alien abduction and embryo implantation. Look around at all the middle aged men and focus your attention upon their “beer belly.” They gain this “gut” not due to lack of exercise or poor diet, but due to alien embryo implantation. Over time the embryo slowly grows until the man actually appears pregnant. Yes the men are being abducted by aliens and are implanted with embryos. From what I have no idea, but one that gestation period is a killer literally. The embryo stays in the body and eventually kills the male. The written cause of death is usually heart disease or something else that no American would really worry about. After the host dies the embryo continues to digest eh host eventually emerging from the grave to what end no one can be certain. The only apparent way to stop would be to void the deal our government has with the aliens to use our people as hosts.  
    Unfortunately simply voiding the contract would not solve the problem because this has been happening for thousands of years. Humans as well as other animals are used like cattle, the government thinks it has a handle on the situation but nothing could be farther from the truth. Think about it, how could humans be the perfect hosts for these alien embryos if humans have only been used for the last few years. It just doesn’t make sense does it?

     Next time when you are in the doctors office trying to figure out why you just can not seem to lose those extra pounds, ask yourself, how easy is it to remove the growing embryo by yourself. The doctor is lying to you. He is just trying to help keep tract of the embryo’s developmental progress and keep your body the perfect environment. Too bad you will never live to see the creature which is growing inside you.

Sanity or Reality?

          The night was dark, cool and not too cool. The perfect summer night to sleep under the stars. The new moon shinning behind my back, I hope it brings me luck. The old ways speak much of suck charms and spells. Unfortunately delay in such thoughts will only make me more likely to be caught. I must escape this place and have been planning for months. A small bag of food and clothing should be enough that I can get to the house I see in my sleep. I just hope the place is not just a figment of my imagination. I have seen the house and how to get there so often in my sleep that I don’t know what is real any more. I must be going crazy, here I am at midnight duct taping a flashlight to a bike in order to be able to see to ride tonight. The plan is simple just leave and never look back. Implementing this on the other hand will defiantly prove more difficult. Not daring to turn on the light in case I would be seen, I leave the only home I have ever known in hopes of finding the place in my dreams. Rounding the bend in the old dirt road, I doubt myself again. Can leaving be this simple? Unlatching the back gate as I had done so many times before I hope the squeak of the rusty old hinges does not stir anyone. Which would be amazing considering I am now half a mile from the main house. Perhaps it is the people whose patterns I don’t know that I am most afraid of. Still not daring to turn on the light I ride past my neighbor’s house looking for where the back road turns into my grandmother’s driveway. I want the road just past it. Hopefully no one else is up. I have never spoken to those neighbors and they would undoubtedly not understand my plight. Every rustle of leaves, every animal stirring, and every sound from all around me makes me jump. All I want is to get away from him and to that house in my dreams.

            Life would be so easy if I would just turn around and go back, I know exactly what waits behind me and nothing about what is in front of me. I need to put as many miles between me and the place I come from as possible to night. That way when I am discovered missing the cops will have the wrong search radius. If I ride strong and hard I should be able to make twenty miles by daybreak. I have been training up for this for the last three months. Riding as far in one direction as I can then turning around and seeing if I can make it home before I drop. Home, such a funny word, if home is where the heart is then I have been living in the wrong place for all too many years. The house in my dreams is where my heart lays. Now for the most risky part yet of this journey, passing my neighbors house and not getting caught. Helpful that they don’t know that they are to be looking for me. Now, should I ride quickly past, or slowly and silently? It all depends really on whether or not they have a motion sensor light. God I hate those things. You can be the most silent person on the planet and still a dam light goes off. Which is far more obvious than any twig snapping. I should just go back home, but sneaking back in can be far more dangerous. On the inside I know where everyone is by sound, on the outside, someone could have moved about the house and I would be caught due to not knowing where they had moved to. I would be beaten for sure if I was caught sneaking back in. I can just here him saying “where did you think you were going, were you out with a boy, are you disgracing this family again?” a boy, ha! Why would I spend time with a boy? Worthless creatures, all they do is poke a girl, get her pregnant, and then beat her for not doing every little thing they could possibly want. I never want to be with a boy.

            How long have I been standing here? This is not good. If I am to get out of here I need to pay more attention, and make a decision! To walk quietly, or ride swiftly. I am letting my fear get the better of me, I should just ride quickly. Running scared is a lot faster than running mad, so I should be able to put this fear to good work and ride quickly. The gravel crunching under my wheels must be loud enough to wake the dead, but that must be because I am focusing on the sound I am making rather than the sounds of my environment. After I am on the main road I will switch the light on, for now I just need to hope I don’t hit anything. Ironic that I want the light when I can’t use it, and plan to use it when I don’t need it.

            I know these roads, I have ridden all the ones around me so that I know them in daylight and darkness. Most of the ones that are out past about forty miles I know from my dreams. I have been shown every detail between me and where I need to go so that hopefully I won’t become lost. Though this journey might just be one of those of self discovery in which I need to learn that the place I am looking for is only in my heart or some such shit. In which case I am completely screwed because what child has any skills in which legitimate money can be made. I can’t go back now, so I need to go forward. My worst fear is some idiot cop picking me up and taking me back home. They would never understand what goes on there, but hopefully that is behind me and I need not think about any of it ever again.

            Why am I so apprehensive about this, if I was doing the right thing then shouldn’t I feel better about this trip, or is this why people just stay in their ruts and refuse to move. I don’t like this feeling, like I am doing something horribly and in explicitly wrong. Which maybe I am, but I can’t go back now. Perhaps this is why I am so unsure of myself. Burning a bridge before I have reached sight of the other side seems completely ridiculous, yet here I am. Lighting that bridge before I even know that there is land on the other side. Of course there must be land on the other side, people don’t just put up a bridge that ends in the middle of the ocean or something, but that is not the point. How far have I gone, oh yeah the light, I don’t want to get hit out here. Usually by this point I am beginning to feel tired, but I guess when you have more initiative, than just riding for a work out, you tend to go farther.  Once dawn hits I won’t need to worry about this light, or being picked up by the cops till tomorrow, so tonight I need to find a place to camp. I was shown a good place and I brought some paint to change the color on my bike and other clothes. I should probably even cut my hair if I can do so without it being obvious that I cut it after all I have no skill in hair nor have I ever tried to cut it on my own.

Җ

            The place I have been looking for is right in front of me. The gentle sloping hills covered with fruit bearing trees, the sweet sent of cherries in the air, the sky is the bluest I have ever seen and there is not a cloud in the sky. The perfectly manicured walkway under my feet is so steep I can’t ride my bike on, and it seems wrong somehow to even try. The snow caped mountains to my left are in breathtaking clarity. Everything seems too perfect somehow. The birds are singing the sweetest melody I have ever heard, and yet I am almost too anxious to continue. The high walls and gilded wooden gate barely coming into view are both a sight for sore eyes and the worst thing to face yet. If the place I see so vividly I my mind is real, how did I know of it, or did I just travel around till I found something that looked fairly similar. Still, I haven’t eaten in days and should probably see if anyone lives here, if they do I can ask them if I can eat some of their cherries before going on my way. No matter how hungry I am I will not steal food. Some things are just wrong no matter what the situation, and it is obvious that someone lives here; manicured orchards and well kept driveways don’t just happen. Well the only thing left to do is walk up there and find someone to ask about the cherries. Still the gate is so far up there and I am really tired. If I take a nap before continuing then I might not get there till after dark, then there would be no one around to ask for food.

            The day is warmer than I first thought, and this hill is no longer gently sloping. The hill is almost too hard to walk up the slope is too steep. The fruit on the trees is looking more tempting then ever. Why am I so concerned with asking permission to eat some fruit? No one would notice if just a few pieces went missing. Besides I am really hungry and I might never get to the gate at the top of this hill or mountain at this rate.

            Only a little ways farther, I feel like I am walking almost vertical, but I know that is impossible. Still there have been quite a few impossible things I have faced on this journey. What is one more thing before I decide what to do? Why does it seem like the more I think about the fruit, the farther away that gate becomes, and the steeper the slope. Maybe this is some kind of test, if I just stop thinking about food all together then I would be at the gate in no time. Still I don’t know how thoughts can affect reality. The entire idea seems ridiculous to me.

            Why does this gate look fake, like some kind of toy or movie set piece relocated here so that they wouldn’t need to pay for storage or something? Maybe this is a movie set I stumbled on, but that would be ridiculous, why would they use actual fruit trees when fake ones behave so mush better. There aren’t even hinges on the gate, what is the point of having a gate if it can’t be used. That would be a good trick for a castle though. Have everything set up so that people think you have a drawbridge and instead you have some wood placed in front of stone. Add some smaller man doors around the sides of the castle so that people can get in and out, which means that there must be another entrance to this place, most likely to the side of this fake gate. Judging from the change in the stone work, that to the right should be the door. If they have a fake gate made of wood, then they probably have a fake stone portion of the wall which is actually a door. Odd people, and rather confusing in a completely logical manor.

            Җ

            Why I believe? Ever since I got here I have been asked one difficult question after another. They say that I can’t leave till I have been enlightened; I still don’t even know what that means. I don’t even know how long I have been here. I find it almost impossible to keep track of time and have almost given up, perhaps I should keep track of years though. Knowing how many years seems important somehow, but I am not sure of how, or to whom. So many things seem that way. I have forgotten much of my old life, and spend most of each day in different forms of meditation, maybe this is enlightenment. Forgetting all of the life before I came here and just knowing the simply joy and mystery to these questions and meditations. I have spent three days so far coming up with why I believe and more importantly what I believe in, because it seems impossible to believe but not in any one particular thing. Though I was told not to list off what I believe only that I believe and why, this is to be some kind of special speech I make for the coming of winter dinner. Giving the speech is to be some kind of high honor, but I am not so sure. I think it is some way of testing my mentor as to what I have been learning and how far I have progressed. I have only one more day to think up why I believe and whether or not it is important to believe in any thing particular. Some of the other kids are complaining about their questions, and others are trying to get help by holding discussions about their question. No one knows my question, because I don’t want them to know. I want to come up with my answer all on my own and not let anyone tell me how to phrase things differently. Why does everyone here seem to be better at these questions than I am?

            Everyone is better than me and not just in the questions. I am so dam clumsy in my training; I keep falling on the jumps. I will never be as graceful as all the others. My legs are sore from the stance I need to hold for the exercise, and my back is sore from all the punching and arm movements. They won’t let me spar with anyone, saying that I can do such things when I am better trained or I will hurt myself. When we practice kata I am always facing the wrong direction and doing the wrong thing. Everyone else is perfectly synchronized and I am the one who is lost. There are so many kata and each one is so different it is hard to remember where I am moving and what I am to be doing. The master says that this will all come with time, but I am tired of looking foolish in front of everyone, and I know everyone is starting to get ticked off at me that I can’t keep up with them. The way they look at me with almost constant disapproval. I just wish I was better at all these forms of training.

            Still this place is far better than where I was before. There is food here, heat during the winter, and enough clothing to stay warm during cold weather. I am grateful for these things. I sort of wonder what happened when I left. How did my parents take it when I just up and left? There is no contact with the outside world here, so I have no idea if they even tried to look for me let alone want me back. I guess it doesn’t really matter, I am not going back, this place is not without its demands and stress but, at least I feel safe.

Җ

            Standing up in front of everyone like this always makes me nervous. My mentor said that my answer to, why I believe, was so good that I should not be afraid during my speech. Still the grand meeting hall, packed with all the people who live in this wondrous place, the ancient looking walls, and high vaulted sealing are quite intimidating, especially when everyone is interested in what I have to say and to pick apart my arguments on something as intimate as why I believe. Well I hope this isn’t too bad, so here goes nothing. 

           Җ

           Then I wake and realize that it was all just a dream. A dream of a better, kinder, and more fulfilling life but  a life that I realize is no longer an option in today's society and I feel deeply that something has been lost to this world.

If the Universe is Helt Together by Thoughts...

            If the universe is held together by thoughts, then is it possible to “out think” the universe?

     The universe is made up of matter, and matter is made up of atoms. Atoms are pesky little creatures which are too small to see and are largely made up of empty space. In other words, the universe is not very dense to begin with. Then pieces of this universe keep disappearing for no good reason. The electrons surrounding the nucleus of the atom are particularly annoying. They move so fast, and in such an unpredictable pattern, that they can not be calculated to exist. Anything which has the decency to exist can be calculated out to be in a particular place at a certain time and what its velocity is at that time. Not electrons, they move so fast that one can only calculate the velocity or the location, but not both at the same time. Then, just to be annoying, they blink out of existence for a few fractions of a second. Then they might show up again in another atom. Almost as though there are not enough electrons to go around in all the dimensions and they must be shared. While they are gone, the world keeps turning and that could account for the electrons becoming part of another atom upon return.

     This makes the universe not seem like a very stable place. So what is holding the universe together? Duct tape and a dream? Since light can be both a particle and a wave, can it not be that the universe is held together by thoughts. This line of question leads to a bigger problem. Are some thoughts bigger or stronger than others? If there are such stronger thoughts then what makes those thoughts strong? Is the will of the person taken into effect? Are all stories of magic and fantastic events simply the result of one person’s strong thoughts?

     Perhaps this is why philosophers so strongly argue for the idea of the theater of the mind. There are so many dimensions due to infinite possibilities of course there is not enough matter to go around, with an infinite amount of dimensions and a finite amount of matter.

     This leads to my idea of out thinking the universe by creating too many dimensions and completely over stretching the already stretched matter. This would cause the electrons to not be able to keep up with being everywhere at once and forcing the universe to collapse. Similar to inverting a bag of holding, but using a philosopher’s methodology.

Grandma and the Impressive Shit Planting Ninjas!!!

     I'm always amazed at some of the things that a schizophrenic will come up with but this is one of the better ones. A relative called me the other day to inform me that she doesn't like the staff in her care home. See someone keeps breaking into her rooms and shitting her pants for her. Now this is an impressive feet as the woman is sitting alone, in a recliner, awake, and would never shit her own drawers. The only logical conclusion is that the staff is seeking in while she isn't paying attention and placing turds in her pants because they like cleaning her up afterwards. Which is why I am convinced that she lives in an impressive care home of Shit Planting Ninjas!!!

Creating a cult

     I have been thinking for some time about constructing a cult of my own. For the longest time I have thought that all the gods are one so if I started a cult based on this theory. The best way to describe it is with the blind men and the elephant poem.

John Godfrey Saxe's ( 1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend,

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL.
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen! 


   See though these men all come across the same animal they were only able to take in one aspect of that animal. The elephant was too vast for the men to take in and understand. This is how we all experience gods. We all see different aspects of that god but the gods are too vast for any one person to comprehend so the one god was broken up into smaller aspects and given different faces and names. Still they are all the same god. Which is why we should stop making war in the name of gods as all the gods are one.

   The core beliefs of the cult I am creating are that all the gods are one so lets stop fighting or arguing about religion and focus on leading happy healthy lives.

Blind Men and the Elephant – A Poem by John Godfrey Saxe
Here is John Godfrey Saxe’s (1816-1887) version of Blind Men and the Elephant:

It was six men of Indostan,
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear,
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approach'd the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," -quoth he- "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," -quoth he,-
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said- "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," -quoth he,- "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong! - See more at: http://www.allaboutphilosophy.org/blind-men-and-the-elephant.htm#sthash.uj0QNvSP.dpuf

Catching cats

   Just got back from helping someone take care of a friend's cats while they are out of town. She shows up at my door and says "get your shoes on and help me catch a cat." Always up for a bit of adventure I decided to help. The cat in question was in the back bedroom which contained 2 cats. Neither one of us knew which cat to take to the vet so I grabbed the first one I could and shoved it into a carrier and went to search for another carrier to put the other cat in. The other cat had to be completely wild. I could barely see the cat let alone get my hands on it and my assistant was no help whatsoever. I actually had the cat in the carrier 4 times before she managed to actually shut the door on it. She was the one afraid of the cat and yet I was the one losing skin and blood. Then we get the cats to the vet and it is the wrong damn vet. I could not stop laughing at the situation. Then we had to find another vet office that neither one of us even knew existed all to find out that the cat was ok. On a positive note even the vet didn't know which cat was to be brought in and had to examine both. This is pretty much a typical day for me.