Kicking Congress Back Into Gear!

     If we remove the congressman's expense accounts so that they have to pay for their own depends they might get things done faster and have fewer filibusters. After all who wants to go the store and be photographed buying those things. Then they can do campaign adds sponsored by depends!

Government Shutdown vs New World Order

     If we shut the government down... How long do we have to stay shut till we pay off the national debt? If that takes off so much every day how about we all donate a day or so every year to run the government. It would be like cleaning up the highways. It can't be hard to run the government after all they are always on vacation. Its not like we really need to do anything... it just needs to look good on the outside.

And can someone give me a spot on a farm? I have a lot of skills and can grow almost anything. Since this is all going down the shit tubes anyways I figure I might as well take up my natural skills and avoid all the government bullshit.

Baby Names for a Moddern Age

If I ever have kids I would name them something like Stop That, Don't Touch That, Not Me, Didn't Do It, Prove It, Can't Make Me, or NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO. I feel like that would really get straight to the point and cut out the middle man on arguments. I can't help but think that it is better than naming a child after the bathroom... John. Or after a religious figure Jesus, Joseph or Marry. Or after shit you want to own Cristal, Ferrari, chandelier. Just remember if you name a child after an event you may be predicting the future, Storm, Tornado, or Rainbow.

Tips for handling obnoxious relatives.

     If this holiday season you will be spending time with relatives who are going to be yelling at you anyways you might as well have them complain about things you don't care about. For example I tend to make and bring mash potatoes to a family meal. I know how to make them as smooth as silk or lumpy as hell. Either way they still taste good and people eat them. For family meals I always bring the lumpy kind. That way people complain about the lumps in the potatoes rather than my hair, clothes, boyfriend or lack there of, what I am doing with my life etc. Basically they are too busy complaining about a few simple lumps in potatoes to remember to nag me about something I actually care about. This can be extended to deserts as well. If you make a cheesecake that doesn't come out of the pan well. Basically by not baking the crumb crust for a few min. Then the focus will be on your lack of skills as a pastry chef. You can even roll with poor presentation skills of the dish. Start by saying something like "it tastes better than it looks... I think" and all the focus in suddenly on the dish. You can even make a dish that doesn't taste good. Just throw in spices that don't belong. Your relatives will be complaining about it all evening and leave the more sensitive subjects alone.
     I hope that helps you all have a happy holiday season.

Gluten Free Cart

     I picked up my favorite lizard sauce from the Gluten Free Cart in Eugene and got to talking about allergies. This reminded me to share the recipes I spent a few years creating and perfecting. I have a chocolate cake that people without allergies are willing to come back for seconds on. As well as my tips for handling allergies in public and on the move. I know I still don't have any pictures of the food. If you would like to help with this project I would be very grateful.
 https://sites.google.com/site/nomsglutenfreerecipies/

Congress not working vs terrorists

     Basically how congress is holding the government hostage to meet their demands of repealing obamacare is terrorism. I thought that America didn't negotiate with terrorists! Most Americans actually want obamacare and would appreciate having healthcare available. Second, the money that congress is refusing to pay out is money that congress already spent. Which is like buying a house and furniture and after receiving it and finding it acceptable you decide not to pay. This is ridiculous. Now being in the social media generation it is now time to hound all the republican congressmen on twitter to try and force them to realize the error of their ways. I have included an excellent link in which you can find the twitter profiles of republican congressmen so please have at the hounding.

https://twitter.com/tweetcongress/republican

My crazy relatives.

     We all have been in that bad situation of needing to use the restroom but not having one available. Under these circumstances normal people would pull over and find an inconspicuous place to take care of business. Not my relatives! One decided to hike UP the hill in order to confuse all passersby. Once at the top of the hill the pants were drooped and business was taken care of. Then the ass just kept waving in the breeze as she didn't want her used paper to blow away and wasn't sure what to do so a few minutes passed and she finally decided to pull up her pants and hiked back down the hill. Those were some of the most embarrassing minutes of my life as all the cars kept honking at that bare ass flapping in the breeze.