Monday, September 30, 2013
Kicking Congress Back Into Gear!
If we remove the congressman's expense accounts so that they have to pay for their own depends they might get things done faster and have fewer filibusters. After all who wants to go the store and be photographed buying those things. Then they can do campaign adds sponsored by depends!
Government Shutdown vs New World Order
If we shut the government down... How long do we have to stay shut till we pay off the national debt? If that takes off so much every day how about we all donate a day or so every year to run the government. It would be like cleaning up the highways. It can't be hard to run the government after all they are always on vacation. Its not like we really need to do anything... it just needs to look good on the outside.
And can someone give me a spot on a farm? I have a lot of skills and can grow almost anything. Since this is all going down the shit tubes anyways I figure I might as well take up my natural skills and avoid all the government bullshit.
And can someone give me a spot on a farm? I have a lot of skills and can grow almost anything. Since this is all going down the shit tubes anyways I figure I might as well take up my natural skills and avoid all the government bullshit.
Baby Names for a Moddern Age
If I ever have kids I would name them something like Stop That, Don't Touch That, Not Me, Didn't Do It, Prove It, Can't Make Me, or NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO. I feel like that would really get straight to the point and cut out the middle man on arguments. I can't help but think that it is better than naming a child after the bathroom... John. Or after a religious figure Jesus, Joseph or Marry. Or after shit you want to own Cristal, Ferrari, chandelier. Just remember if you name a child after an event you may be predicting the future, Storm, Tornado, or Rainbow.
Tips for handling obnoxious relatives.
If this holiday season you will be spending time with relatives who are going to be yelling at you anyways you might as well have them complain about things you don't care about. For example I tend to make and bring mash potatoes to a family meal. I know how to make them as smooth as silk or lumpy as hell. Either way they still taste good and people eat them. For family meals I always bring the lumpy kind. That way people complain about the lumps in the potatoes rather than my hair, clothes, boyfriend or lack there of, what I am doing with my life etc. Basically they are too busy complaining about a few simple lumps in potatoes to remember to nag me about something I actually care about. This can be extended to deserts as well. If you make a cheesecake that doesn't come out of the pan well. Basically by not baking the crumb crust for a few min. Then the focus will be on your lack of skills as a pastry chef. You can even roll with poor presentation skills of the dish. Start by saying something like "it tastes better than it looks... I think" and all the focus in suddenly on the dish. You can even make a dish that doesn't taste good. Just throw in spices that don't belong. Your relatives will be complaining about it all evening and leave the more sensitive subjects alone.
I hope that helps you all have a happy holiday season.
I hope that helps you all have a happy holiday season.
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Gluten Free Cart
I picked up my favorite lizard sauce from the Gluten Free Cart in Eugene and got to talking about allergies. This reminded me to share the recipes I spent a few years creating and perfecting. I have a chocolate cake that people without allergies are willing to come back for seconds on. As well as my tips for handling allergies in public and on the move. I know I still don't have any pictures of the food. If you would like to help with this project I would be very grateful.
https://sites.google.com/site/nomsglutenfreerecipies/
https://sites.google.com/site/nomsglutenfreerecipies/
Friday, September 27, 2013
Congress not working vs terrorists
Basically how congress is holding the government hostage to meet their demands of repealing obamacare is terrorism. I thought that America didn't negotiate with terrorists! Most Americans actually want obamacare and would appreciate having healthcare available. Second, the money that congress is refusing to pay out is money that congress already spent. Which is like buying a house and furniture and after receiving it and finding it acceptable you decide not to pay. This is ridiculous. Now being in the social media generation it is now time to hound all the republican congressmen on twitter to try and force them to realize the error of their ways. I have included an excellent link in which you can find the twitter profiles of republican congressmen so please have at the hounding.
https://twitter.com/tweetcongress/republican
https://twitter.com/tweetcongress/republican
My crazy relatives.
We all have been in that bad situation of needing to use the restroom but not having one available. Under these circumstances normal people would pull over and find an inconspicuous place to take care of business. Not my relatives! One decided to hike UP the hill in order to confuse all passersby. Once at the top of the hill the pants were drooped and business was taken care of. Then the ass just kept waving in the breeze as she didn't want her used paper to blow away and wasn't sure what to do so a few minutes passed and she finally decided to pull up her pants and hiked back down the hill. Those were some of the most embarrassing minutes of my life as all the cars kept honking at that bare ass flapping in the breeze.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Finding good dogs homes vs veteran support
The humane society has a hard time adopting out really big dogs but really big dogs would be perfect companion animals for veterans. What I would like to see done is the dogs given training to help out the veterans with panic attacks or to lick their faces and wake them up if they are having a nightmare. The dog would help give structure and a schedule while being big enough to sit on the veteran if they are freaking out. I think it would be a good fit and would help out a lot of people and dogs.
Avoiding the trappings of our consumerist lifestyle.
I am enticed by shiny things as mush as the next person but I have a method to avoiding the trappings of our consumerist culture while still accumulating what I want. See I love the act of shopping. The thrill of the hunt and seeing what is out there that I think I just can't live without. There are marvelous things to look at in every store, online, and even through catalogs. But I rarely if ever take anything home with me. I have pictures that I cut out and glue into a small black spiral book that I then decorate. I have all manor of things in there and love the idea of owning each and every one. But by only taking home the image of the object and keeping that I can still hunt without accumulating all manner of object to stuff my home with and max out the credit cards. This is the perfect balance for me and still allows for a fair amount of creativity.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Obnoxious Relatives
One of the worst parts about having obnoxious relatives is that you never really know if they are trying to be hurtful or helpful. To start out with I was lied to like most young people. I was told that if you went to college and got a degree that involved math you could get a good job. Well I got a science degree and have been unemployed for a while. I keep being told that I am over qualified or under qualified depending on the interview. Either way I am still unemployed and still actively looking for work. What doesn't help is that my relatives have no respect for my health problems, me as a person, or my qualifications. I have been told that I should work in food service despite being allergic to food. I should work at a grocery store despite having had that job before and kept getting sick while working. That I should work at a call center and sell credit cards. I did not go to college and get a degree just to work as a telemarketer. I know how much people swear at you over the phone and don't need the stress. I am however willing to do lab work, government work, office work, farm work, etc. I am willing to work hard just not sacrifice my health at the same time.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Even More Idiots!
Even more idiots and signs that make no sense.
Man's penis amputated after viagra overdose. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/mans-penis-amputated-after-viagra-overdose-8835146.html
Go ahead, try and press the button.
Woman sues her own psychic http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-people-filing-lawsuits-their-own-dumb-mistakes/
The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Lawsuits of 2012 are:
Man's penis amputated after viagra overdose. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/mans-penis-amputated-after-viagra-overdose-8835146.html
Go ahead, try and press the button.
Woman sues her own psychic http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/4-people-filing-lawsuits-their-own-dumb-mistakes/
The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Lawsuits of 2012 are:
- Intoxicated Florida driver pleads guilty to manslaughter, then sues victim he killed
- Michigan woman files $5 million suit for the leftover gas still in her repossessed car
- 13-year-old Little Leaguer sued by spectator who got hit with baseball
- Maximum security inmate who went to jail with five teeth sues prison for dental problems
- Anheuser Busch sued when longneck bottle used as weapon in bar fight
- National Football League fan sues Dallas Cowboys over hot bench
- California restaurateur sued for disabilities act violations in parking lot he doesn’t own
- Colorado man wins $7 million blaming illness on inhaling microwave popcorn fumes
- $1.7 billion suit claims City of Santa Monica wireless parking meters causing health problems
- Bay Area parents sue school after their son was kicked out of honors class for cheating
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sue Happy Idiots VS Product Warnings
MAN SUES TOM RIDGE OVER DUCT TAPE FEARS
Corona, CA - Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security, and President George W. Bush.
Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.
"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."
Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair.
After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him. "I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out".
Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad! advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed. The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
Copyright 2003 - The Corona Times
On the other hand there are some bizarre product warnings that all have stories. The warning wouldn't be there if someone hadn't done it!
Who in their right mind would iron a shirt while wearing it?
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commission Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
even more crazy warnings
What the hell was a guy trying to find in there???
This dog really has to be careful about driving while on this medication.
Who irons a lottery ticket?
Yup that looks like a good idea.
oddly specific.
Corona, CA - Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security, and President George W. Bush.
Steven J. Bosell, the owner of B & B Construction in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.
"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", Bosell said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized if survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."
Bosell claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, Bosell injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair.
After calling an ambulance, Bosell was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him. "I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" Bosell said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out".
Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad! advice. They also make me look like a fool." Bosell sobbed. The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on Mr. Bosell's lawsuit.
Copyright 2003 - The Corona Times
On the other hand there are some bizarre product warnings that all have stories. The warning wouldn't be there if someone hadn't done it!
Who in their right mind would iron a shirt while wearing it?
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commission Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
even more crazy warnings
What the hell was a guy trying to find in there???
This dog really has to be careful about driving while on this medication.
Who irons a lottery ticket?
Yup that looks like a good idea.
oddly specific.
Apple Touch ID fingerprint tech 'broken', hackers say
Who could have ever seen this one happening. After all it is only a popular phone with outrageously boasted security. Why would it ever be hacked after only a single day?
Read Full Article
Read Full Article
Laundry Symbols Explained
I have this printed in my laundry room so I can always know how to properly wash everything. This is also perfect for bachelors and college students new to laundry.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Budget Holloween Decorations
This one is dry ice in a caldron with the punch in a glass bowel inside. You can add any favorite punch or witches brew.
http://partiesforpennies.blogspot.com/2011_10_01_archive.html
Window decorations made from hot glue and glitter. Its fun and easy.
Glue ghosts. These take a little prep work but are super fun.
Some cheese cloth, a few printed distressed labels and candles. It is amazing what you have sitting around the house that you can use for a fun Halloween.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Today's Train Wreck
Watching people eating Ghost Peppers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDQXwlgb6P8 Yes hilarity does ensue. Why do people do this to themselves?
Followed up with people using Ghost Peppers in pranks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrKzNIEJiE8
Followed up with people using Ghost Peppers in pranks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrKzNIEJiE8
Friday, September 20, 2013
Vasectomies Prevent Abortions.
Vasectomies are a great low cost alternative for men to avoid unwanted children. Why should all the responsibility of contraception to be entirely on the woman. That is not fare or equal. In a relationship there is a lot of shared responsibility and cooperation. Rather than blindly relying on the woman to faithfully take a pill at the same time each day or argue over who's turn it is to buy condoms, get a vasectomy. The procedure is relatively simple, not dangerous, doesn't require full sedation, and is very cost effective. Rather than relentlessly ending up on the Maury show or the Steve Wilkos show and be pursued by women for child support just go out and get a little snip snip. Besides female sterilization costs 6 times as much and is much more dangerous. As a man what would you rather do spend $300 on a vasectomy or $300000 for raising a child.
http://clearhealthcosts.com/blog/2012/12/how-much-does-a-vasectomy-cost-from-300-to-3500-plus/
http://www.babycenter.com/cost-of-raising-child-calculator
http://clearhealthcosts.com/blog/2012/12/how-much-does-a-vasectomy-cost-from-300-to-3500-plus/
http://www.babycenter.com/cost-of-raising-child-calculator
My Father is Crazy VS Blowing up the House
My father is crazy and tried to kill me several times when I was growing up. It is kind of sad when you can't trust your own parents to not harm you but not all of us have such luxuries in life. I always had to be on alert as at any time he would try some new approach. For years I even slept with a butter knife stuck into the door jam of my bedroom door. I knew that it wouldn't keep him out but it would cause him to rip the wood of the door frame and wake me up.
Not even the bathroom was safe. the man put a jar of gasoline under the counter in the bathroom. I was really confused as to why I smelled gas but couldn't find the source. Being smart about it I took the matches and candles out of the bathroom to prevent an explosion. The smell was so bad that it made me sick to even be inside the house. He claimed he couldn't smell anything and no one else could figure it out. For 3 days we put up with this and tried to find the source. It wasn't till my mother held the jar in front of my father demanding an explanation that he fessed up to having put it in the bathroom. His reasoning...he was working on an engine and needed to put the gas somewhere. So he put it in an uncovered jar in the bathroom. He was really upset that we got mad at him and made a few threats. Then he ran off to his other family for a couple weeks to "teach us a lesson" too bad he came back.
Not even the bathroom was safe. the man put a jar of gasoline under the counter in the bathroom. I was really confused as to why I smelled gas but couldn't find the source. Being smart about it I took the matches and candles out of the bathroom to prevent an explosion. The smell was so bad that it made me sick to even be inside the house. He claimed he couldn't smell anything and no one else could figure it out. For 3 days we put up with this and tried to find the source. It wasn't till my mother held the jar in front of my father demanding an explanation that he fessed up to having put it in the bathroom. His reasoning...he was working on an engine and needed to put the gas somewhere. So he put it in an uncovered jar in the bathroom. He was really upset that we got mad at him and made a few threats. Then he ran off to his other family for a couple weeks to "teach us a lesson" too bad he came back.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
How video games did not prepare me for adult life.
- No matter how much you hack at grass or weeds no treasere ever spontaneously shows up.
- You can't actually go into people's houses looking for loot without getting arrested.
- There is no Sword of Desteny!
- You can't put everything into a bag and still be able to find it all easily.
- In a house you can't have all your belonging in one cupboard. The laws of physics are against you.
- Each day I am disappointed that I don't have a quest or mission to complete.
- You can't rip your opponent's spine out and hold it over your head in victory as society frowns upon that.
- When you kill someone... the body is still there and doesn't magically disappear if you walk away from it.
- When enemies approach there is no notification on the mini map and the music doesn't change.
- You don't accumulate money just by walking around.
- I still want to know what a "health potion" or "magic potion" taste like!!!
- Typewriters don't really exist anymore so good luck saving your life when the zombie apocalypse happens!!!
- Guitar hero does not equate to guitar playing.
- Driving into people does not give you points/more fuel/help you win a race.
- There is no reset!
- Plants are not automatically identified when you pick them up.
- You can not heal all hurts no matter how serious by sleeping one night.
- You have to pack food when journeying.
- You can't just pause a fight, eat 400 carrots and be back at full health.
- Eating raw meat has consequences.
- You must stop to shit in the real world!
- In real life it is almost imposable to become or marry the princess. You have better odds of winning the lottery.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Homemade Naturall Mold Killer
Vinegar Spray
Straight vinegar reportedly kills about 82% of mold. Pour some white distilled vinegar straight into a spray bottle, spray on the moldy area, and let set without rinsing if you can put up with the smell. It will dissipate in a few hours. Safe for use around kids and pets.
Tea Tree Treasure
Nothing natural works for mold and mildew as well as this spray. I’ve used it successfully on a moldy ceiling from a leaking roof, on a musty bureau, a musty rug and a moldy shower curtain.
2 teaspoons tea tree oil
2 cups water
Combine in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and spray on problem areas. Do not rinse. Makes about 2 cups, lasts indefinitely.
Killing Mold on Concrete and Cement
In a spray bottle mix 3 cups water to 1 cup bleach and apply to the surface. Spray daily and do not drink.
Straight vinegar reportedly kills about 82% of mold. Pour some white distilled vinegar straight into a spray bottle, spray on the moldy area, and let set without rinsing if you can put up with the smell. It will dissipate in a few hours. Safe for use around kids and pets.
Tea Tree Treasure
Nothing natural works for mold and mildew as well as this spray. I’ve used it successfully on a moldy ceiling from a leaking roof, on a musty bureau, a musty rug and a moldy shower curtain.
2 teaspoons tea tree oil
2 cups water
Combine in a spray bottle, shake to blend, and spray on problem areas. Do not rinse. Makes about 2 cups, lasts indefinitely.
Killing Mold on Concrete and Cement
In a spray bottle mix 3 cups water to 1 cup bleach and apply to the surface. Spray daily and do not drink.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Farm I need funding for
This would be a hippie community and family vacation farm. In which people can learn to get back to nature and gain skills. Rough list of attractions. I just need the land to make it all happen.
- A barn for weddings and dances.
- Stable for horses. People could pet the horses or go on trail rides. Could even rent space to the public.
- Cook and serve organic meals.
- Daycare, babysitting, and after-school programs if close enough to town.
- Teach spinning, knitting, and crochet.
- Teach canning foods.
- Weeding and doing farm chores.
- Milking cows and gotes.
- Clothes line as an alternative to the dryer. Dryers on hand for rainy weather.
- Solar panels and well water for a greener community.
- BBQ pit for outdoor cooking.
- Soap making
- Wine making and tasting
- Bread making
- Tractor and seed planting.
- Forest walks with plant identification
- Herb drying
- Cobb/concrete building or hobbit holes. Not everyone would live in the main building.
- Huge greenhouse for oranges, lemons, limes, avocados with a large pond inside for temperature control.
- Hot tub and swimming pool
- sannah
- Collect and chop fire wood.
- Story telling around a camp fire
- Free wifi
- Dancing lessons/contra dancing
- yoga/karate studio
- Plants given as souviners
- tea making
- weightloss/exercise camp. Come chop wood, load, move and stack it.
- Wrist band/charm bracelet detailing skills
The news you should read about
There are a lot of things that should be making headlines but aren't so I put a couple here.
http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/08/20/20099811-crippled-fukushima-nuclear-plant-300-tons-of-radioactive-water-spilled?lite
This one is about how 300 tons of radioactive material is leaking into the ocean every day!
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/09/10/221131211/in-iowa-blind-people-can-carry-guns-in-public-not-everyones-a-fan
This one is about how gun nuts have managed to push through a law allowing blind people to carry guns in public. Blind people! How will they know what they are shooting at?
http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/08/20/20099811-crippled-fukushima-nuclear-plant-300-tons-of-radioactive-water-spilled?lite
This one is about how 300 tons of radioactive material is leaking into the ocean every day!
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/09/10/221131211/in-iowa-blind-people-can-carry-guns-in-public-not-everyones-a-fan
This one is about how gun nuts have managed to push through a law allowing blind people to carry guns in public. Blind people! How will they know what they are shooting at?
Selling out completly
I have decided, out of boredom, to join twitter. Now you all can find my even more random thoughts @CaraLewis42 good luck, see you there.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Obama VS Jobs
In one of Obama's last speeches he mentioned that he was going to to get everyone employed. I submitted my resume and pointed out all my key skill, and didn't even get a reply. Since then I have had no more interviews and am getting discouraged. I understand that there is more going on in the world than just me and my lack of employment but being egocentric, I am concerned with my own situation. Yet I can't help but feel disappointed that despite his speech he did not find me a job.
If anyone knows of a good job for a biologist with lots of skills with plants please let me know.
If anyone knows of a good job for a biologist with lots of skills with plants please let me know.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Sore throat remedy
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
8oz hot water
1 tablespoon honey
Stir and sip. Tastes like warm apple cyder. Note, I am allergic to apples so I haven't tried this one but as I commonly experiment on friends and family this remedy has been shown to work.
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
8oz hot water
1 tablespoon honey
Stir and sip. Tastes like warm apple cyder. Note, I am allergic to apples so I haven't tried this one but as I commonly experiment on friends and family this remedy has been shown to work.
A Different Sort of Hippie Community
I would like to start my own sort of hippie community. One that would be a bit different from the rest. People fantasize about life on the farm as though a farm is something novel to visit. I would give them that experience. People could come for a week or month and stay in their own little cob house and work on a farm. They would be able to pet a horse, pull weeds, pick vegetables, and learn about the different chores and tasks on a farm. I could even teach them how to make soap, can foods, spin wool, and make wine. Yes I would have to supply such novel things as a clothes line. Even set the place up to be completely Eco-friendly and brag to the visitors about solar panels and well water. I would help people get back to nature in small and manageable dosages. It sounds like fun, so all I need is a good plot of land.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Bad Moods vs. Train Wreck TV
Sometimes I get depressed, despite heavy duty antidepressants, and there is only one thing that can pull me back out. Watching train wreck TV and no this is not something I am proud of. Bridezillas, Don't Tell the Bride, Too Young to Marry, Worlds Dumbest, just to name a few. I just like watching people who fuck up in life worse than I ever have and yet still carry on like nothing is wrong. If those shows don't help then I pull out the big guns. http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/ A few hours spent on that site will usually make me forget all my problems. After all, there are few problems that cute cats with captions can't solve.
As Seen on TV
I always love to see new products and am amazed with what people are willing to buy. I also would love to see if some products really work without the disappointment of buying crap, so I found a Youtube channel that has someone trying it all http://www.youtube.com/user/grav3yardgirl?feature=watch
Thursday, September 12, 2013
I'm too slick for this
I'm too sick to be left home alone right now. I keep forgetting the dog outside and have left the dog outside for more than 6 hrs and she is upset about it. Yet when someone came over and woke me up to tell me that I had left her out there and that she was crying. She came back later to check on me and tell me that the dog was outside and crying again she said "If there is anything I can do to help just say so." People really don't mean it when they say that. Not fully realizing this in my semi-unconscious state, I replied "The dishes all need washing, the garbage needs taking out, scoop the cat box, walk the dog, do the laundry, finish canning the grape juice, and if at all possible cook me some soup." Her husband burst out laughing and took her away. Too bad it didn't work, someone really needs to do some dishes because something is really starting to stink in the sink.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
The Cost of Prisons
The average cost of incarceration costs thirty to forty thousand dollars for each prisoner just to keep them locked up. This is a major drain on our economy, what would happen if we made guilty prisoners pay back the money for their incarceration. We would have a lot more money for education and helping feed children. Which would help to reduce the rate of desperate people making desperate decisions. People might learn to think twice before committing a crime if jail time wasn't free.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
The Poor Among Us.
The problem of the poor in our our society is a complex problem which will take years to solve. Yes the economy is a problem and isn't helping. Yes we have priorities messed up and are spending more on incarceration than education. But there is a bigger issue in play here which if worked on could slowly improve the situation over time.
When I was younger I was placed in a special ed class which consisted of me and several ESL students. None of the students were dumb, but all the ESL students hadn't been challenged to think about problems from different perspectives. In this class you received points for the work you did. After a while there was a party where you could redeem the points for treats or toys. All the toys were priced so high you couldn't get any at the first party. Seeing something I wanted I saved my points and picked it up at the next party. All the other students spent all their points on popcorn. To the point where each one had their arms full of popcorn and were spilling it everywhere. One student asked "Why aren't you getting any popcorn?" I replied "I'm saving my points for next time. There is something I want and could get next time if I don't spend any now." They all looked dumbfounded and re-examined their popcorn with a critical eye seeing their mistake.
A few parties later the program was out of toys, I was kicked out for not being mentally retarded, and the ESL students learned a valuable lesson. Lessons like this one need to be incorporated into the education system to teach children cost-effectiveness analysis. This would help to slow people down on the quick easy gains and focus on long term goals.
Also my grade-school was a failure in the education system. If you say to a young autistic "Do this worksheet, but if it's too hard, you can go play with the toys." It's your fault the kid is playing with the toys. I wasn't the retarded one in that situation it was the entire staff of the school.
When I was younger I was placed in a special ed class which consisted of me and several ESL students. None of the students were dumb, but all the ESL students hadn't been challenged to think about problems from different perspectives. In this class you received points for the work you did. After a while there was a party where you could redeem the points for treats or toys. All the toys were priced so high you couldn't get any at the first party. Seeing something I wanted I saved my points and picked it up at the next party. All the other students spent all their points on popcorn. To the point where each one had their arms full of popcorn and were spilling it everywhere. One student asked "Why aren't you getting any popcorn?" I replied "I'm saving my points for next time. There is something I want and could get next time if I don't spend any now." They all looked dumbfounded and re-examined their popcorn with a critical eye seeing their mistake.
A few parties later the program was out of toys, I was kicked out for not being mentally retarded, and the ESL students learned a valuable lesson. Lessons like this one need to be incorporated into the education system to teach children cost-effectiveness analysis. This would help to slow people down on the quick easy gains and focus on long term goals.
Also my grade-school was a failure in the education system. If you say to a young autistic "Do this worksheet, but if it's too hard, you can go play with the toys." It's your fault the kid is playing with the toys. I wasn't the retarded one in that situation it was the entire staff of the school.
Monday, September 9, 2013
My Green Thumbs
I always had better success than most with plants. Even with more exotic plants and plants not native to where I live. I even look for more plants to grow in the foods I eat. If I find a seed that is sprouting and has roots I will put it in soil to see what happens. Through these efforts I have gained lemon and orange trees. Most recently I am trying to grow 2 grapefruit trees. I think I will try to grow an avocado next. I'm not sure if I could ever go back to living in an apartment, I kind of need a greenhouse to help keep my plants healthy.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
The Wisdom of Plants
Like all vegans, I respect plants. Not really to the worshipful perspective that some have but I have a healthy respect for them. Which is why I eat them. See most plants, not all mind you, are slowly trying to take over the world. Just watch those little buggers. You add a little water, sunlight, and soil and they just keep growing. I firmly believe that without human intervention plants would take over the world. Who knows what would happen then, where would they go next?
Not all plants have brains, so don't eat the ones with brains. That is how you get mad cow disease. After all the cows ate the plants with brains and got sick. Which means that you should make sure that all brain and nerve tissue is properly removed from your plants before consumption and never under any circumstances feed one plant to another.
Not all plants have brains, so don't eat the ones with brains. That is how you get mad cow disease. After all the cows ate the plants with brains and got sick. Which means that you should make sure that all brain and nerve tissue is properly removed from your plants before consumption and never under any circumstances feed one plant to another.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Ancient Aliens or did Humens get Dumber Over Time?
There is much modern speculation about whether or not humans mad the great pyramids and ancient temples. What was the purpose of such things? How could such things have been built with such limited technology?
In modern times it is speculated that even with our current technology we would have a hard time building one of the Egyptian pyramids. Cutting the stones, moving them, and placing them so precisely would be a nightmare for any modern construction crew. Doing all that work by hand seems impossible.
I am proposing that the movie idiocracy has happened more than once already. That the smart people either stopped breeding or were killed off by "modern" man. There were no aliens involved, people simply forgot everything they knew. Ancient Aztec stone carvings suggest they were doing organ transplants using the blood of a pregnant woman to lessen rejection. Carvings on temples in India suggest knowledge of the stegosaurus and what it would look like with skin on the bones. The mahabharata and some archeological sites show evidence of nuclear war.
None of these things were from ancient aliens, they were done by ancient intelligent humans. Even the creation of the gods can be understood as ill informed humans trying to communicate to others the actions and abilities of more intelligent humans. In the near future the smarter humans among us will likely be killed off again once the global energy and fuel crisis peak. Those humans will most likely be killed off by the petty fools they are trying to save.
In modern times it is speculated that even with our current technology we would have a hard time building one of the Egyptian pyramids. Cutting the stones, moving them, and placing them so precisely would be a nightmare for any modern construction crew. Doing all that work by hand seems impossible.
I am proposing that the movie idiocracy has happened more than once already. That the smart people either stopped breeding or were killed off by "modern" man. There were no aliens involved, people simply forgot everything they knew. Ancient Aztec stone carvings suggest they were doing organ transplants using the blood of a pregnant woman to lessen rejection. Carvings on temples in India suggest knowledge of the stegosaurus and what it would look like with skin on the bones. The mahabharata and some archeological sites show evidence of nuclear war.
None of these things were from ancient aliens, they were done by ancient intelligent humans. Even the creation of the gods can be understood as ill informed humans trying to communicate to others the actions and abilities of more intelligent humans. In the near future the smarter humans among us will likely be killed off again once the global energy and fuel crisis peak. Those humans will most likely be killed off by the petty fools they are trying to save.
Solving the Middle East Crisis
The problems with the middle east are more complex than any one person can solve, but I think I know how to solve many of the problems. Ice machines and air conditioning. Its just too damn hot over there.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
30 second hiccup cure
Step
1: Start by inhaling through your mouth until your lungs feel full
(when it feels like you cannot inhale any more.... your lungs will
basically stop taking in air).
Step 2: Swallow. You are not really swallowing anything but it seems that without this act, it doesn’t work. Do not let any air out.
Step 3: Now inhale some more until your lungs feel full again. You may not be able to inhale a lot, but do get some more air in. It will start to get difficult to do this as you go, but keep trying. You obviously can’t suck in as much air as you did initially, but just a little will do (think of it as taking a “sip” of air but directly into your lungs).
Step 4: Swallow again. This too will start to get difficult as you go. Do not let any air out.
Step 5: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (inhale and swallow) until you cannot swallow again. While it seems you can almost always suck in just a little more air, it is actually the swallowing that gets to be impossible. When you feel like you cannot swallow again, swallow again anyway. It will be hard to do, your face will probably turn red, and you may make squeaking sounds. But you CAN swallow one last time. By this time, your lungs should also be quite full and it should be difficult to get much more air in as well. While you should try not to let any air out, if you have really repeated steps 3 and 4 as many times as you can, you probably will end up letting a little air out before you can take that last swallow. If you find that air keeps escaping out of your nose even early in the process, try squeezing it shut with your fingers.
Step 6: Exhale.
original site
This works every time for me and is nowhere near as complicated as most cures.
Step 2: Swallow. You are not really swallowing anything but it seems that without this act, it doesn’t work. Do not let any air out.
Step 3: Now inhale some more until your lungs feel full again. You may not be able to inhale a lot, but do get some more air in. It will start to get difficult to do this as you go, but keep trying. You obviously can’t suck in as much air as you did initially, but just a little will do (think of it as taking a “sip” of air but directly into your lungs).
Step 4: Swallow again. This too will start to get difficult as you go. Do not let any air out.
Step 5: Repeat steps 3 and 4 (inhale and swallow) until you cannot swallow again. While it seems you can almost always suck in just a little more air, it is actually the swallowing that gets to be impossible. When you feel like you cannot swallow again, swallow again anyway. It will be hard to do, your face will probably turn red, and you may make squeaking sounds. But you CAN swallow one last time. By this time, your lungs should also be quite full and it should be difficult to get much more air in as well. While you should try not to let any air out, if you have really repeated steps 3 and 4 as many times as you can, you probably will end up letting a little air out before you can take that last swallow. If you find that air keeps escaping out of your nose even early in the process, try squeezing it shut with your fingers.
Step 6: Exhale.
original site
This works every time for me and is nowhere near as complicated as most cures.
Natural Garden Disease Defence
Gardens can have all sorts of problems fungi produce spores that spread in soil when it's tilled or
cultivated; some propel themselves through water, nematodes are microscopic round-bodied worms. Most are beneficial, but the plant-parasitic types cause wilting and stunting and small holes in root vegetables, bacteria enter plants through openings in roots or tissue, viruses must have a host (like nematodes) in order to multiply.
Aboveground symptoms are most often caused by these bad actors
assaulting the root system, but in certain cases infected soil splashes
onto foliage, where the disease then takes hold. Now that you know more about the possible culprits lets get on to diagnosing and treatments.
The best fungal treatment is prevention.
Provide good air circulation around plants by properly spacing them apart.
Water around the base of plants, instead of on the leaves.
Rake and remove fallen leaves of infected plants.
Apply a fresh layer of mulch to garden beds at the beginning of the growing season. If
fungal disease is still a problem in your garden, consider applying a
fungicide. A wide variety of fungicides are available on the market, and
there are a number of homemade remedies. It can often be confusing to
know which treatments to use. Master gardener Paul James offers a few
simple, easy-to-use fungicidal treatment options.
Garlic is gaining in popularity as both a fungicide and insecticide. To make your own garlic treatment, mix 10 cloves of garlic with one pint of water in a blender. Strain the mixture. Use this garlic concoction as a spray. But keep in mind that garlic is extremely non-selective. It destroys both beneficial insects as well as pests, so use it wisely and use it sparingly.
You can also spray your plants with windex and the fungus will die and the plants will be fertilized. Its a win-win really.
For pesticides, I usually go to this site. http://eartheasy.com/grow_nat_pest_cntrl.htm
Nematodes can be prevented with planning. Grow marigolds, chop them up, and stir into the soil as mulch. Just growing marigolds doesn't repel the insects but the decaying plant does repel them.
To stop deer from eating your crops, take an egg and crack it into about a liter of water, shake up, and spray on the plants. Note, do not use this method if you are allergic to eggs.
The best fungal treatment is prevention.
Garlic is gaining in popularity as both a fungicide and insecticide. To make your own garlic treatment, mix 10 cloves of garlic with one pint of water in a blender. Strain the mixture. Use this garlic concoction as a spray. But keep in mind that garlic is extremely non-selective. It destroys both beneficial insects as well as pests, so use it wisely and use it sparingly.
You can also spray your plants with windex and the fungus will die and the plants will be fertilized. Its a win-win really.
For pesticides, I usually go to this site. http://eartheasy.com/grow_nat_pest_cntrl.htm
Nematodes can be prevented with planning. Grow marigolds, chop them up, and stir into the soil as mulch. Just growing marigolds doesn't repel the insects but the decaying plant does repel them.
To stop deer from eating your crops, take an egg and crack it into about a liter of water, shake up, and spray on the plants. Note, do not use this method if you are allergic to eggs.
Relationship Advice
People ask me all kinds of questions every day and most of them revolve around getting their man to do chores or convincing him that you aren't cheating on him and make it so he won't cheat on you.
To properly convince the man that you aren't cheating and to make him not want to cheat. Have sex with him every day. Sometimes 2-5 times a day. This always keeps a man around.
Don't nag him constantly, just ask him to do a chore and then get the majority of supplies so that he doesn't need to go to 3 stores and have the chore take all weekend. Also remember that not every man is an electrician, so if he doesn't even know how to do the chore you want done... it won't get done. That is when you hire someone. This also goes for plumbing too. No every man knows how to properly replace the wax ring on a toilet. If he doesn't know how, then he probably makes enough to hire someone to do it for you.
For all chores do a cost-effect analysis to see if you should just hire someone. If swapping the carpet in the house for hard wood would take your man 3 days, that is 3 days in which he isn't at his normal job earning money.
Just think things through before you start the nagging.
To properly convince the man that you aren't cheating and to make him not want to cheat. Have sex with him every day. Sometimes 2-5 times a day. This always keeps a man around.
Don't nag him constantly, just ask him to do a chore and then get the majority of supplies so that he doesn't need to go to 3 stores and have the chore take all weekend. Also remember that not every man is an electrician, so if he doesn't even know how to do the chore you want done... it won't get done. That is when you hire someone. This also goes for plumbing too. No every man knows how to properly replace the wax ring on a toilet. If he doesn't know how, then he probably makes enough to hire someone to do it for you.
For all chores do a cost-effect analysis to see if you should just hire someone. If swapping the carpet in the house for hard wood would take your man 3 days, that is 3 days in which he isn't at his normal job earning money.
Just think things through before you start the nagging.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Onstar Almost Made me Crash!
My car came with onstar, I never activated the "free" subscription because I don't need something talking to me when I am driving. Seriously, those people have almost made me crash repeatedly. I keep asking them to leave me alone but after I yelled at them in the car they have been hounding me on the house line and my cell phone. These people won't leave me alone. This "safety" feature freaks me out when I am driving and suddenly the car is talking to me. I have had enough and found out how to get onstar out of my car, and hopefully out of my life!
How to get onstar out of your car
How to disable onstar
How to get onstar out of your car
How to disable onstar
Fox news and the art of lying to the american public
If it is legal for fox news to lie to us, then that street flows both ways. Here is the number 918.369.6397 I suggest calling them and reading off the onion news headlines, making stuff up and or going on in detail about that toilet paper bandit that left you stranded. This can be all kinds of fun. Just remember to sound serious.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Living Like a Forest Elf
I would love to live in a tree like a forest elf. The ultimate in getting close to nature is to be had in a luxury tree house in the middle of the forest. Not only could you hunt deer from a balcony but using vertical gardening you could grow many of the foods needed to survive quite happily. The trick to surviving the coming zombie apocalypse is not wholly in prepping but in making a home you can live in sustainably. With solar panels you can get away from needing public electricity. Yes putting them on the roof of a tree house would be a poor idea but putting them on a pole and above the tree line would give you plenty of power. If you camouflage the pole to look like the surrounding trees, you won't have to worry about people trying to take them down. The tree house also needs retractable stairs just to make sure people you don't want to come in won't be able to. Then all you need is a septic system and well water with camouflaged pipes and you are all set. Just be sure to put a hot tub up there and who couldn't be happy.
Gay People Save the Planet!
The problem isn't our individual carbon emissions it is that our children require equal or more emissions during their lifetime. Each generation demands more energy than the one preceding it and we will have riots if we try to restrict the energy usage and electronics of the public. Just think about how much energy, resources, etc that goes into that new iphone you think you need every time a new one comes out. You aren't happy when your phone carrier won't let you upgrade as often as you want but what would you do if the government was involved in how often you got to upgrade? That is just one aspect of our modern lives what about all the clothes you buy and never wear or only wear once, the cars, and everything else you consume. If you produce kids, they will want all of that and more.
This is all why I am in favor of gay marriage as these people are taking themselves out of the breeding pool. What we need to do to save the planet is get more gay people. We need to encourage people to become gay and make it popular. Now Americans are never going to go for a child limit so I am thinking that a tax break for non-breeders would help encourage childlessness. The only way we can keep up with the energy consumption is by having fewer people.
This is all why I am in favor of gay marriage as these people are taking themselves out of the breeding pool. What we need to do to save the planet is get more gay people. We need to encourage people to become gay and make it popular. Now Americans are never going to go for a child limit so I am thinking that a tax break for non-breeders would help encourage childlessness. The only way we can keep up with the energy consumption is by having fewer people.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Global Warming VS. Family Planning
I firmly believe in global warming, but I don't necessarily believe that it is a bad thing. The planet is constantly changing and will always be changing. The continents drift, and there is a constant cycle of warming and cooling. The question is if what we are doing to change the planet is negatively effecting the earth's natural cycles. After all a single volcano can release more carbon than the humans did since the industrial revolution, and everything we do in our daily lives is just a drop in the bucket. In the end if you believe that carbon emissions are the problem, then you are going to have to make some serious lifestyle changes.
Recomendations:
Recomendations:
- Don't invest in property at or below sea level. If the sea level rises, your house will be under water.
- Don't breed, that way you can drive a hummer every day and not produce the carbon emissions of producing and raising an offspring. http://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2009/jul/family-planning-major-environmental-emphasis
- Don't get divorced. Divorce creates twice as many carbon emissions as staying married. http://www.livescience.com/7436-divorce-squanders-earth-resources.html
Genetic Counseling on the Cheap
I was asked recently about how to best go about genetic counseling without spend and arm and a leg. The best option for any couple is to go to https://www.23andme.com/ and have both partners join, have their DNA samples run, and link their profiles. The company will give them the odds of disease rates
based on DNA markers for under $200 total. That is better than any
genetic counselor can do
My Boyfriend Brings Me Flowers/Rose Grant
My boyfriend brings me flowers not because he did anything wrong but because he wants to. He even looks through the half wilted stock in the grocery store. It was a bouquet of roses from him that I was gazing at when I was struggling to write a grant proposal for a plant physiology class. If someone could hook me up with the funding to do this research I would greatly appreciate it.
Rose Grant Proposal
Rose Grant Proposal
Abstract:
Every year the flower industry sells millions of long
stem roses. Many are grown in South America and other tropical areas. These
roses are cut at an angle, partially dehydrated, shipped, partially re-hydrated,
and sent out for sale. All in an attempt to distribute fresh cut roses. I
propose researching which angle roses are cut at to provide optimum rose life expectancy and customer enjoyment.
Introduction:
Roses have a relatively short shelf life and extending
this shelf life will allow for greater profits for the floral industry. Most
people are aware that roses need to be cut at an angle under water to help
absorb water and remain fresh or the stems seal to the bottom of the vase and
are unable to absorb water. Some literature talks about using a shallow angle
while others use a steep angle. Many florists aim for a forty five degree
angle. There is interest to determine
which angle provides for optimum rose freshness upon delivery, and allows for
roses to last the longest in storage.
Materials and Methods:
I plan to use
long stem roses from two sources. I plan to arrange for a plantation in South
America to harvest roses using my specified angles and sending those roses
through the partial dehydration, shipping, and re-hydration process which roses
normally go through before sale. Then to re-cut those roses at their specified
angle and see how long they last. I would like to start with one or more of
these varieties Mr. Lincoln, Oklahoma, Hoagy Carmichael,
Chrysler Imperial or Olympiad for the testing.
The other source of roses I will use will be direct
from a florist after which I will cut them at their specified angle and see how
long until they wilt adding in the time spent in transit. This will tell if the
angle at which the roses are cut before being sent to the florists is
important. A wilted rose would be described as flaccid, drooping, and
blackening of the petals.
I will be cutting the roses at 25, 35, 45, 55, 65, 75,
85 degrees. I will use all the varieties
from each source with two replicates from each source. Once cut, the roses will
be placed in separate sterilized mason jars. I will record the deterioration
rate of each rose then repeat the experiment as varieties become available.
Timeline:
I will have all the roses for that week to arrive all
at one time and on the same day each week. After twenty seven weeks of
repeating the experiment I will graph the results to see which angle roses stay
fresh the longest.
Works Cited
Anderson, Robert
G. "Effect of Cutting Characteristics on Cut-stem Quality of Single-stem
Roses." HortScience.
American Society for Horticultural Science, Aug. 1996. Web. 18
Feb. 2012. <http://hortsci.ashspublications.org/content/31/4/654.2.short>.
Capdeville, Guy
de, Maffia, Luiz A., Finger, Fernando L., & Batista, Ulisses G. (2003). Gray
mold
severity and vase life of rose buds
after pulsing with citric acid, salicylic acid, calcium
sulfate, sucrose and silver
thiosulfate. (Fitopatologia
Brasileira.)
Kuiper, D.,
Reenen, H.S., van, & RibĂ´t, S.A. (n.d.). Characterisation of flower bud
opening in
roses; a comparison of Madelon and
Sonia roses. (Postharvest
Biology and Technology 9:
75-86.)
M Mwangi, AM
Kibe, & SK Bhattacharjee. (2008). Influence of wet and dry cold storage
and
holding solution on the respiraton
rate and post harvest life of cut roses. (Journal of
Agriculture, Science and Technology;
Vol 10, No 1 (2008); 43-55.) Journal of Agriculture,
Science and Technology.
Wright, C., &
Madrid, G. (January 01, 2007). Contesting Ethical Trade in Colombia's
Cut-Flower
Industry: A Case of Cultural and
Economic Injustice. Cultural Sociology, 1, 2, 255-275.
Yan, Z., Visser,
P.B., Hendriks, T., Prins, T.W., Stam, P., & Dolstra, O. (n.d.). QTL
analysis of
variation for vigour in rose. (Euphytica 154 (2007) 1-2.)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
My Family is Crazy! Part 2
No one in my family is very bright or cares about my allergies so even though I am badly allergic to turkey, they had me cook it for thanksgiving. I decided to creatively get revenge on them for this. I decided to stuff the turkey with a Cornish Game Hen and filled the rest with more traditional stuffing. After I got the whole mess down there I offered my aunt and uncle the honors of carving the turkey. Since they both love to be the center of attention they went for it. The first few cuts were good and people were happy but then confusion hit. "What the hell is this?" my aunt screamed and held up the smaller bird that was inside. I then acted shocked and exclaimed that the bird was pregnant and the whole family freaked out. One of my cousins actually threw up. Some one fainted but I forgot who. People just ran around freaking out and yelling at each other about how I fucked up cooking the bird. Eventually I couldn't take it any more and started laughing. Everyone stopped and glared at me and demanded to know what was so funny. When I told them that the bird wasn't pregnant because birds lay eggs and that I had stuffed the bird with another bird, they all got mad at me. I was told that a prank like that was mean and completely uncalled for. Then convinced that the bird was poisoned, they all refused to eat it and claimed that I ruined thanksgiving. Sure I have not been invited back, but it was worth it.