Wasting Other People's Time

I got to school one day and noticed 6 trees all indoors and lined up neatly in a row. The first thing I thought was about how the pollen from those trees really irritates my allergies. Then I remembered that modern day Christians kill trees to bring them inside as a Christmas decoration. This seemed odd to see in a school cafeteria because public schools really aren't to favor one religion over another. Thinking on this for some time I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to write "nondenominational tree" on a piece of notebook paper and place it upon one of the trees. This desire was more from my twisted sense of humor than from any sort of political statement.

My prank completed I then went about my classes and checked back on my piece of paper in a few hours. I had simply placed the paper on a branch as it was some sort of ornament. When I returned I discovered that someone had torn a whole in the paper to spear through with a branch to better hold the paper in place. Now I thought this was rather funny and told my friends. Since this was Friday and the building wouldn't be open again till Monday I was rather curious what happened to my sign and checked back early. To my surprise not only was the sign gone but so were the trees.

A friend of mine who worked at the campus started complaining about how he spent most of the weekend in a meeting about this sign someone wrote and left on a tree. He was rather upset about the whole thing and how so many people wasted their weekend debating a piece of paper. Boy was he upset when he found out that I had wrote the sign. He did agree that it was funny at first but about hour 6 of the meeting he was really getting upset about it. Many of the people didn't think they could remove the sign while others just thought that it was a piece of paper and this whole thing was a gigantic waste of time. So due to a small prank that was designed to only make people think and not cause any damage to the university. I still managed to cost the university a lot of money.

All in all it was still a good joke.

Ebola Patients Disappear

Now I'm not sure if the ebola outbreak is some kind of a coverup for a zombie outbreak but I am sure of one thing with the vanishing patients this is very reminiscent of what the american government did to the native americans. I wouldn't be too surprised if the people are being collected to generate as much infected material as possible and then spread the infection further. As with the small pox blankets this would be an attempt at population eradication. After all if the virus was bioengineered to be this lethal, why wouldn't the government try to spread the virus far and wide.

Bio Engineering

There is much talk these days about bio engineering and gmo foods. But I am sure there is one gmo we can all get behind. I would love and adore this genetically modified organism as long as I live.

Pet Sitting

Once while pet sitting for a particularly obnoxious relative I found out that the dog was unable to crap anywhere but outside the property line. It wouldn't go in the back yard, it didn't drop one in the house, it would only go when on a walk. Now this was a rather large dog. The size of dog where you are taking shopping bags to pick up afterwards. The type of dog where you wonder how the thing can shit as much as it does.

Being out of bags and knowing there was a pick up after your pets law in force I started making maps. I mapped out everywhere the dog dropped one and created quite the pile of piles. Forgetting about them and the owner returning early from vacation... the maps were found. Now since I am a scientist and label everything you can correctly assume that the maps were labeled. The owner was none too pleased to go on a scavenger hunt for two weeks worth of dog shits.

I was never asked to dog sit again. I can honestly say that I am not heartbroken over how things turned out.

Women Drivers.

Normally I don't comment on women drivers but this woman just had no idea. I watcher her car jerk as she parked. This didn't seem to concern her and she went shopping. Upon returning she got into her car and tried to drive away. The wheels were spinning but the car wouldn't move. She got out and circled the car, and seeing nothing wrong she tried to drive again. This repeated for some time with her becoming increasingly frustrated. I was having a good time watching and laughing at the situation. She finally got her husband to come over and he started laughing and called a tow truck. She had high centered her car on a large rock. I just wish I had taken a picture.

On Doing Detailed Work

My family has taught me a long time ago that when doing detailed work especially close to your face, you must stick out your tongue. Which has lead to many mishaps over the years. Once I watched one of them when having trouble threading a needle actually thread the needle through a taste-bud. Which lead to all sorts of screaming, panic, and running around the house yelling like a maniac and refusing all help. I had a hard time not laughing out loud at the whole situation.

I have a fun time trying to figure out what kind of knot is being tied based on what their tongue is doing. I don't know why the tongue is out but it is out and darting from side to side while the knot is being tied. As if the tongue is leading the string through the knot and it is a very detailed path.
 
Now I am very careful to keep my tongue inside my mouth at all times.

The Mystery of Oak Island

The mystery of oak island is an old one. Is there a huge treasure hidden, a vast library, maybe the arc of the covenant, or is it just a joke placed here by aliens.

Every time I hear about oak island I am struck by how odd the whole mystery is. How no one can figure out where the water comes from to fill the money pit. All the artifacts found could have simply been dropped by past explorers as I am sure the current explorers drop artifacts of their adventures. Lives lost, countless dollars, and years of effort have only yielded a handful of coconut fiber, a few rocks, and a solitary coin. Hardly enough to keep spending money on such a venture.

This all points to the mystery of the island being some sort of joke. The question is if that joke is played by immortals or very long lived aliens who like playing with mice in a maze.

Gluten Free Dining Albany Oregon

Pizza
Pizza Now has the best gluten free crust, the best prices, and really fast service. Even without coupons this is one of the best pizza places in town.
Figaros A bit over priced and always takes at least half an hour to get your order but it is still pretty good.
Abby's pizza is a bit over priced and only has rather small gluten free pizzas. The service leaves something to be desired and the menu is structured poorly.

Mexican
Taqueria Alonzo
The place may not look like much from the outside but the food more than makes up for the atmosphere.
Los Dos Amigos Hacienda  
The parking lot may be a bit hard to get into but the food is good. Just talk over your order with the waiter before you get too far. There are lots of options though.
Mexico Lindo
This place looks as good on the outside as it tastes on the inside. Most everything on the menu is gluten free if you avoid the flour tortillas.

Fast Food
Rigoberto's 
Mexican food fast just don't order anything fried or in a wheat tortilla.
Muchas Gracias
Mexican food fast just don't order anything fried or in a wheat tortilla.
Other
Sam City If you react really bad to gluten then order the pho because it is kept in a separate area of the kitchen from any gluten. It never shows up with bread and is always good. For other items you need to ask the waiter.

Momiji This is decent sushi at a decent price.

Applebees They have a gluten free menu and I suggest consulting it before you order.

Gluten Free Dining Eugene Oregon

I am gluten free and have been for some time. Finding restaurants which will cater to my needs are rare and far between.

Twin Dragon in Eugene Oregon is the best Chinese food in Eugene. Yes you have to talk to the water to see which items can be made for you but the food is well worth the effort. If you are lucky enough to get the young male waiter and they aren't too busy grab a take out menu and have him go over the items with you. He is the one who knows the most about the menu. Mark the ones you would like to try even if you couldn't possibly try them all on the first visit. This way you know what to try till you have all your favorites down. I am a major fan of the Broccoli Beef and the Black Pepper Beef. I can't seem to get enough of those two dishes. I also take home any extra and add a few more bits of vegetables and rice at home to get another delicious meal and stretch out the experience.

I hope this helps you all to have a great food day.

Ebola is a Zombie outbreak cover up

Since this most recent ebola outbreak something has been gnawing at the back of my mind. Lots of people in white lab coats are telling us we are fine, people are dying but no one lets the public see them. All infected are locked away until they die. This being a "treatable" disease doesn't add up. We are only told of who is infected and that everything is fine. Not everything is fine. People are bleeding from their nose and mouth before death. We only get to see the before picture and never the after picture. No one mentions what is done with the dead. Noting makes sense.

Never trust when people in white lab coats tell you that everything is fine.

Lemon Trees Part 2

I re-potted my lemon trees and made a rather startling discovery about my possible coffee addiction.

That isn't even all the coffee cans I put plants in and I actually need more of them. At least I found a good use for old coffee cans.

I do my part when I fart

Finding out that since cows produce methane gas and that this gas is bad for the environment and helps cause global warming. Since I can't somehow destroy or disperse the gas created by cows I decided to focus more on the gas I produce. Now when I fart I light a match to help prevent global warming. This should be about as effective as those light bulbs I changed over to LEDs.

Just remember not to have that match too close when you let one go or you might burn your ass.

One Lemon Tree

I know I haven't been on in a while but things have been very complicated for me. After a recent loss I was walking and trying to clear my head. At my feet was a small bag of lemons. The lemons were in perfect condition so I picked them up. Laughing to myself about how my life has literally just given me lemons so I went home and made some lemonade. Looking at all the seeds on the counter I wondered about growing them to see what would happen. I quickly rinsed off the seeds and placed them in some soil.

A few months later I had some tiny lemon trees growing and though not much was better in my life I felt like I was at least accomplishing something. Now I need to use those lemon trees to try and get something more.
I wish for somewhere to live and will trade the lemon trees to get it. I would like a house in the forest. I am not too picky but I would love to live in the forest. Somewhere I can plant my redwood trees and allow us all to grow and prosper.

I will meet you to trade the trees.

They have grown a lot since this picture was taken a year ago but I am currently re potting them and will have an update soon.

Here are 6 of the trees. As I am sterilizing the soil one pan at a time in the oven you can see why I would only have a few of the trees done at a time.

Therapy

Going to therapy was always kind of a problem for me. Apparently I have so many problems that the psychiatrist thinks I am delusional. It is only when I start pulling out legal records that they figure out that my life is just that fucked up. Basically I have had some pretty bad psychiatrists who have told me "no one's life can suck that bad." Which is pretty much why I don't get along with or see eye to eye with any therapist.

So yes, I have been shot before. My father shot me with a shotgun for not hoeing enough corn fast enough.
Yes, I had to dig out the bird shot myself and treated the wounds. Yes it hurt, and yes it made me upset. So now I tend to be afraid of having a gun pointed at me with intent. Go fucking figure.

Yes, I would regularly get woken up by a deranged man who would order me out into a field to do manual labor all day in whatever I had slept in the night before. I wouldn't even be given the chance to grab shoes, food, or water. The sharp gravel path to the field really hurt my feet then the hot  clay dirt would burn my feet. To this day I have ridiculously thick calluses on my feet. Then I had to work in hot sun till my mother came home and then I would be given access to food and water. But if I didn't get enough work done he wouldn't give me dinner. On those days I would have worked outside all day and would then have to cook all of us dinner. The worst part would be if I didn't cook enough food then I wouldn't even get any. Yes, my father was a complete asshole.

Yes my father and uncle both have meth addictions. He chose meth over me so I have been adopted by a couple different men who accept me as their daughter. It is a pretty sweet deal. I get fathers who actually give a shit about me and don't have to put up with contact with a meth addict who tried to kill me repeatedly.

Yes I grew up with a schizophrenic sister who would randomly beat the shit out of me for no reason.

Basically with all of this we aren't even up to the issues I had by age 10 so I can pretty much win on having a sucky childhood. Too bad that the shit still hasn't stopped flying yet.

Inheritance

I don't remember much from my great grandmother because I was so young when she passed. She had a tiny dog that was more afraid of me than I was of it. The hair was so thin that even the gentlest petting would cause her to flinch. She always felt safer with great grandmother than with me.

She sacrificed her only bath tub to grow a large tree which she had kept for years. No one would let me touch the tree and for years I didn't even think it was a real tree. No matter how much I begged I wasn't allowed near the thing. I don't even remember which kind of tree it was but it basically had the bathroom to itself. Not having any toys for me to play with she would turn on this electric flower which would change colors. I would sit here for hours in a darkened room with a rubix cube just watching the colors change. I never did get very far with the cube though since one of my cousins had already taken all the stickers off and put them back on once to show that he had solved it. A different cousin took the think apart once to solve it so it was rather broken.

When she died I didn't know what that meant. My mother tried to explain that we couldn't go see her any more and that all her things would be given away in a process called inheritance. I really wanted the light with the color changing flower. I had my heart set on the item knowing I would receive it. What I was given rather shocked and appalled me. An antique zit popper, an emergency sewing kit, and antique dish towels. Yes I admit that I had really bad acne but to have it explicitly mentioned in her will in front of the entire family was a bit much.

The device bears a striking resemblance to this one. Basically I was explicitly given a small piece of aluminum that would fit in the palm of the hand and had been used by many of my relatives to remedy their acne. That thought on its own is rather gross. But with the application of some bleach I had to admit that the device did work. I used it for years till I lost it. The sewing kit I lost almost immediately. Apparently I was only given it to stop the relatives from arguing about who should get it. The dish towels are something I still use today but it took a college class to explain them. See flour and sugar were once sold in fabric sacks and people would then use those pieces of fabric for other purposes. In this case they were turned into dish towels. I know because the logos are still on them though they have faded a bit.

It is nice that she mentioned me in her will but it took years to fully appreciate the irony and oddity of such gifts.