Reality is like a river, always moving always changing. Reality can only be found in the present, but in the time it takes to explain the present, the present has moved on, and the event you were trying to express now in the past. Reality is difficult to express not only because it is expressible only in the past, but the past becomes difficult to recall with time. For example few people know what they ate for breakfast three weeks ago. There is also a filter placed on your perceptions of reality. For instance you probably remember the first time you hit something with a car, and not what any of your meals were that day. This is why past reality is highly selective to the person remembering the event. Your perceptions of reality depend greatly upon what is important to you.
Reality is similar to consciousness, and consciousness is just that annoying period between naps. Since reality is just a projection of your mind then consciousness is relative to your consciousness in relation to other people’s consciousness. For example when you fall asleep your reality turns into a sort of dream world. The only way you are able to know what is dream and what is reality is by other people’s consciousness. If this was not so then there would be many frames of reality, and any of them would cease to exist once you stopped being conscious of that form of reality. For instance the world could end if you stop paying attention to it.
To prevent things from no longer existing once there are no longer paid attention so there must be some form of higher level consciousness to which we are all linked. The only example of this that I can think of is “The Borg” from Star Trek. This is a group of people who all possess the same consciousness. All of their minds are linked. Every thing anyone had done is known about by all. Then there are random computer malfunctions during which certain Borg are cut off from the collective. These individuals usually can not cope with being alone, and proceed to do some incredibly odd things in their quest to become part of the collective again. Some people appear to have more of a group consciousness than others. I have frequent moments in which I do not know how I know something, and yet I still know the piece of information. For example, when living in the house of someone I have never met before I know where everything is stored in the kitchen and the complete layout of the house. Everything from where dried fruit is store, to where the bathrooms are, even finding the flashlights or the working batteries. Apparently some people never have these moments.
If I keep him alive within my heart then there is a chance that I will always be able to see him to feel him to love him for all time. These are all the moments and truth I have left to live for. For I have nothing else. The wounds are far too fresh to just move on. The idea of the world turning on without him is too painful for words.
“He will be born again.” Startled I look up to realize the leader has joined me. “We all see that you grieve for him and you will be given your time to do so but you must start speaking with others. We can’t have you forever walking in darkness. You do dishonor to his memory by cutting yourself off from everyone.”
I know she is right, but how do I move on?
No comments:
Post a Comment