My Sister is Crazy!

     My sister is crazy, and not in the normal way. She is crazy and I have the court records to prove it! Growing up she had anger problems and used me as her punching bag. She broke several of my bones and my parents never actually punished her for it. They always sent her to her room or gave her a time out. I knew I needed to learn how to fight back. At the age of eighteen I enrolled myself in karate. The classes were hard and always left me soaked in sweat. Which since my sweat stunk made it hard to get a ride home after but I always managed. A few times no one else showed up to class and the instructor asked me what I wanted to learn. I showed him what my sister always did to me and asked how to get out of it. We practiced for over an hour and I learned a lot. The next time my sister tried to pin me I was ready. I fought back and broke her nose. It was so gratifying to see her running to mom with her bloody nose and mom said "I told you not to pick on your sister and that someday she would clean your clock. Now did you learn not to hit your sister?" Needless to say, my sister got the point that day and stopped physically striking out at me.
     About two weeks later my sister started pissing on the living room carpet. She kept denying it and I was too busy with work and school to set up video cameras. She kept trying to convince us that there were poltergeists in the house. That we needed to somehow cleanse the house and nothing worked. Shampooing the carpets got old really fast and she was making me be sleep deprived. She would piss on the carpet and shampoo it back up. I will never understand why she didn't just use a damn toilet. Soon after I moved out and left my mother to deal with the crazy bitch.
     Six months later my sister, who was working as a dog groomer, tried to poison my mother. My mother went to court and got an eviction notice and made her leave. My mother didn't spend the night at the house as she was fearing for her life so imagine her surprise when she came home to the most horrendous smell ever. The entire house smelled like dog anal gland goo. The shit was everywhere, on the walls, in the carpets, in the couch. She actually unfolded the hide-a-bed and sprayed that shit there too. She even sprayed it in light fixtures so that when you turned the lights on it would only make the smell worse. It was awful, I could hardly believe that someone would want to get that up close and personal with that many dog anal glands to bottle that shit. Not to mention that this is a large house we are talking about. How many anal glands did she harvest from? It took a cleaning crew months to get it all cleaned up.
     Then the impressive happened, my sister tried to sue my  mother for fertilizer spread out in the yard, plants planted in the yard, demanding items that didn't even exist, and even things my sister damaged with the spray. Yes the charges were dismissed by the judge but it really stressed my mother out in the process.
     Next time you think your siblings are crazy, just be glad they aren't harvesting dog anal gland goo to spray in your room!